I just can't wrap my brain around it...

This job, being an English teacher, is my first REAL job. I've had many part time jobs in my short life (mostly working retail) and they have for the most part been for very little pay. I've also always been paid at an hourly rate. Working part time, coupled with low pay, and having to feed/cloth/transport myself for the past few years means I was pretty much always strapped for cash. I always put stuff away in savings (but then I would always spend that on something big) and lived as cheaply as possible.

That has all changed now. I'm not rich by any means, and I still find myself low on funds at the end of each month, but my life (as far as money and how i spend it) are concerned are completely different. Never before in my life have I been able to go out every weekend and have dinner with friends with the money I earned. I do this every weekend now, both Saturday and Sunday night. Dinner followed by drinks. That $80 that I drop now without having to worry would have set me back for months just four months ago. Instead of wondering if I will have money for groceries AND gas after paying my student loans, I pay all my bills here in Japan, send money home to pay my student loans, and then put some away in savings as well. And after all that I still have the money for groceries, going out twice a week, and random excursions. It blows my mind how different things are. I am extremely grateful to have a full time job, but also extremely grateful to have lived the other side of things for so long. I am able to prioritize my spending, save, and be frugal, while still having fun!

That's the weird thing though... I still have the perpetually broke college student mindset. I count and re-count the money in my wallet. Check and re-check the funds in my bank accounts. While I have never written down an official budget, I am always making one and repeating them to myself in my head. "I will only spend x amount on groceries and x amount on dinner tonight so that I can save for x." It's like a mantra. Its only been three months... I'll probably get used to it and not worry so much about money.

This little brain fart isn't really a problem at all except for at work. I've always worked hourly jobs. I was only paid from when I clocked in to when I clocked out. Now I am a salaried worker, but at work we still clock in and out. Logically I know that this information isn't used to affect my paycheck, but almost on principle I treat it as such. When I come into work, I work clock in until I've st my stuff down and am ready to start working. Inversely, two days a week I am the first teacher to come in and I have to start the computer and wait for it. On those days I just stand there and wait for the computer. i could start pulling out my lesson plans and getting together supplies, but that's work. And I haven't clocked in yet! Its even worse at lunch. I'm used to clocking out and then rushing through my 30 min to get food and eat and get back to work, or getting a full hour on occasion and loving the extra time to do nothing. I have an hour lunch break with Amity. Briana will eat her food and go right back to work. The JTs only get 30 min, so they often do the same. Me? I finish eating after about 10 min (because I am a ridiculously fast eater) and then sit and dick around on my iPhone for 40-50 min. Why? Because my lunch break is an hour! That's an hour I'm not getting paid! Its not actually like that... and in a Japanese work environment you always start early and leave late. But I really can't make my brain understand. So I sit there on my phone while everyone else is eating/working. Manager hasn't complained, I am within my rights, but I still feel bad. Bad enough to stop? Not yet... not while I still have this mentality.

Moving on... this past week at work was largely uneventful. The first two days were non set classes days. Meaning I had no standard lessons, just random students coming in for make-up lessons. I didnt have many of those so I had a lot of free time. I made some Halloween decorations and some much needed flashcards since its the beginning of a new term. There was an annoying amount of coloring, cutting, gluing, and taping going on. Since we had those two days though, until November (I think) the beginning of our loop week starts on Thursday (the middle of the week, since I start on Tuesdays). The loop week is how Amity keeps track of the lesson plans we are supposed to teach. Every week the different age levels that I teach have specific pages from their repective textbooks that they are supposed to learn. When I started the loop week started on Saturday, which was a little confusing since the last day of my work week was the first day of a new lesson plan week. Then it was fixed and Tuesday began both the work week and the loop week. But now I have to start on Thursdays (and have three students that actually start on Wednesday instead). Its such a headache to try and keep things straight this way. But I am managing to still keep a week ahead in my lesson planning. So... that's good.

Anywhoo, on Wednesday we all went out to the clinic for a check-up on the company. Nice, right? During my eye exam i got my directions a little screwed up (saying up, but pointing/meaning down) and taking the hearing test is a claustrophobia test as well, haha. The worst part, though, was taking the chest x-ray. I was told to take off my bra and come out in just my shirt. I'm already unhappy because I hate being bra-less. Then when I come out he sees my cami and realizes that that is also inappropriate for the xray machine so he disappears in the back room and come back with a random white t-shirt from who knows where and tells me to put it on instead. Now I feel really uncomfortable in no bra and a strange shirt. Then he pushes me up against this machine to take the x-ray. I get as close to it as was comfortable, but that apparently wasn't close enough cuz he kept pushing me even closer. Not a fun experience. But I left with a clean bill of health! Even lost 10 lbs in the last three months. All that bike riding a good Japanese food. Still waiting for the results from the urine sample and chest x-ray, but I'm sure I'm fine. Next month we are all going out for flu shots (on Amity!).

This weekend wasn't anything too crazy. Dinner with Briana and my new friend Jarrett. Then we tried to go to Miroku, but it was closed becasue the manager was attending a wedding. So we went to another bar called Wave and all the foriegn guys came and joined us. Fun times were had. Sunday Briana and I got our Miroku fix, and it was a night of just us, the bartenders, and two friends. It was like out own little private party and we all had a nice time. Briana was feeling down, which started a big of a hug fest (which is a big deal in Japan because they don't usually affectionately touch each other, ever, not even exaggerating). So that was fun. Monday I went with one of my JTs, Kanami, to Universal Studio's Japan (USJ) in Osaka (about 2 hours away on the train) for Halloween Horror Nights. We met up with Ayumi and her non-boyfriend boyfriend, and Stephen (my co-trainee from Kobe) there. Briana had to sit it out because she randomly came down with a bug, poor thing. Stephen also invited a lot of his friends, so we ended up splitting up. But it was a really fun trip with lots of waiting... but rides that made it all worth it! Pics to come later...

matta ne!
～寒